“Don’t drop it! Hurry up!”
My fingers were shaking as the other newborn nudged me forward. There wasn’t time for hesitation. He was expecting us.
The sack on my back feels heavy as I adjust the contents inside. I asked my companion if we could just raid the cemetery for the tribute but he said that only ate fresh meat would be suitable. I didn’t argue, young as he was, he was still older than me and our kind respects age, if nothing else.
I think back to when this all started. It was a night just like this. A late evening stroll was the perfect remedy to the pressure I was feeling. I wish I knew back then how wrong I was.
In an instant my chest was pounding. I was running away from a large, black creature that I couldn’t see. I cut through the forest thinking the trees would serve as my sanctuary but the thing was nimble, it easily moved through the undergrowth and caught up with me.
I came face to face with a gigantic, boar-like creature, its yellow teeth glimmering in the moonlight. I screamed then, but it didn’t matter. There was no one there to help me, and even if there were people what could they do against such a terrible creature.
I closed my eyes and prayed for it to be over quickly, and I waited for what seemed to be an eternity. I opened them and cast my eyes on the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was wearing a long, black dress and her eyes held back a fire that was terrifying to behold.
She walked up to me and I was still paralyzed from fear. I didn’t know where the creature had gone and I tried to warn her that it was dangerous and that we should get to safety. She laughed right to my face and told me there was nothing to worry about.
Then she kissed me.
It tasted like the darkest shade of blood. I felt my body quivering at the touch of her lips, flowing throughout my body like a torrent of lightning. Breath was sucked out of my lungs and I gasped for air as if I were a drowned sailor.
Then she was gone.
That was the start of my journey. Eventually I met others of my kind, those living in the edges of society, trying to contain their bloodlust as best as they can.
I still feel shame from the first time I went out to hunt. The drive was strong with me then and I didn’t know how to control it. All I wanted was blood and meat, and there was an ample supply in the city.
Reana, that was her name. She was a fool to have trusted me and I was a fool to remember her name. Sometimes, when I sleep I can see her face begging for mercy. I wake up in a cold sweat, screaming and I try to tell her I’m sorry, but I look around and there’s no one there.
The nightmares are the worst part of this. All my past victims haunt me with their screams. I asked my companion if he had dreams too and he said, “It will sort itself out in time. One day you’ll learn to enjoy it.”
I’m afraid he may be right.
The other newborn makes us stop by a large tree and motions me to be quiet. There are humans here, hunters just like us, though our prey is vastly different. The humans are looking for the old one, the one my companion and I seek to visit.
My companion tells me to lie in wait and to protect the tribute while he deals with the humans. I sit by the tree and hope there are no screams.
To my surprise the other newborn finishes the job quickly. There were only two of them apparently and it was nothing that couldn’t be handled by a swift strike to their necks.
“We’re very close, only a ten minute walk and we should arrive at the entrance to his cave,” he said.
I ask him if we could exchange the tribute with the bodies of the men he just killed and he slaps me across the face.
“Stop clinging to humanity that you do not have! This tribute will put us in good favor with the old one. We specifically picked it out for that purpose, remember?!” he said.
“But she’s so young. Surely the old one would be satisfied with the others,” I replied.
Before I could react the other newborn grabs the sack from my back and forces its contents to the ground.
The girl could not have been older than fourteen and she was still unconscious. My companion takes her arm and takes out his claws, drawing blood from the unfortunate soul.
In that moment my stomach grumbles.
“You feel it too don’t you? The hunger,” he says.
“Stop, she is innocent,” I try to keep my focus but the blood smells so tasty.
“No one is innocent. They’re only a next meal. Remember that.”
He rips out the girl’s heart and pushes it to my chest. Blood flows from her and spreads across the leaves and roots around us. I lick my lips and taste the sweet flavor of flesh upon my tongue.
“This will be our tribute.”
My mind races with images of red and black, of screams and mercy ungiven. I listen to the sound of my beating heart and in that moment I am tired of fighting.
I am no longer human, and I shouldn’t be pretending I am. Tonight we will see the old one and share this flesh. I repeat the mantra in my head until it’s all I can remember.
Before moving forward I stop my companion and ask a question.
He frowns, but gives an answer. He tells me that the old one is ancient, far older than others of our kind, and more powerful than we could ever imagine. In his cave are small, black chicks that he uses to turn others away from humanity into the embrace of darkness.
I don’t know if I believe him but we push through ahead.
We finally reach the cave where the old one resides and I find it hard to breathe. There is a strange power here, one that demands to be heard.
My companion nudges me forward and I kneel. I present the heart to the mouth of the cave and that’s when I see him.
Most aswang have human forms, but it seems like the old one had tired of that affectation. He looked more primal than any aswang I had seen before.
He takes a bite out of the heart and bids us to enter.
“Welcome to my home.”
His voice is deep and sends a jolt down my spine. My mind echoes with my own words.
I am no longer human, and I shouldn’t be pretending I am. Tonight we will see the old one and share this flesh.
And I repeat.
I am no longer human.
I will not pretend that I am.
I will see the old one and share this flesh.
As if he knows what is going on in my head the old one offers me a bite of the girl’s heart.
I readily accept.
For I am no longer human.
And I will not pretend that I am.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Inspired by the Aswang na Kalibonan legends
Ebwa illustration by Andrew Rebuldela
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andrewrebuldela/