*Note this story is in Tagalog
“Kumusta, makadurog-puso, nagkita ulit tayo?”
“Hindi, hindi tama iyon.”
“Tingnan mo, ilang oras na tayo dito, sa tingin ko oras na para magpahinga tayo.”
“Sige, maaari kang lumabas, kailangan ko pang mag-isip ”
“Dapat magpahinga ka na talaga. Ngayon ko pa lang nakitang nagpakahirap ka ng ganito.”
“Kung hindi ako magsusumikap para sa aking unang album, maaari na akong bumitiw ngayon.”
“Sige. Kukuha ako ng pagkain para magpatuloy tayo sa trabaho.”
“……”
“Magkita uli tayo mamaya.”
Hindi tama ito. Walang kahulugan ang mga salita at wala siyang naramdam sa tugtugin.
Hindi tulad ng dati.
Hindi kasama niya.
Naaalala pa rin niya ang huling beses na nagkita sila, bago siya naglaho sa mga puno. Sinasalamin ng mga dahon ang tahimik na liwanag mula sa kanyang balat. Lagi niyang naiisip ang nga sandaling iyon.
“Hindi ako makasulat ng awit kung mga sira ang panugtog na gamit ko.”
Ang awitin ang tanging paraan para makapagsalita siya. Naisip niya, heto ang inspirasyon na kanyang handog sa pamamaalam. Subalit hindi pa rin nakakabawi ito sa katotohanang nag-iisa siya.
“Halos hindi ko naiintindihan ngunit binigyan ako nito ng boses.”
Ang kanyang mundo ay isang globo na hitik sa mga basag na isla at nagyeyelong basura, ngunit alam niyang may isa pa siyang huling sasabihin. Kahit walang makakarinig.
“
Walang makakapagpabago sa amin
Hind man lang sa isa’t isa
Lahat ng ginawa mo ay inspirasyon
Hanggang sa kinailangan naming magwakas
Ngunit kung mayroong isang bagay
Na natutunan ko sa pamumuhay ng
Wala ka
Bawat hininga mo
Ang tanging handog na hinahangad ko.
“
Pinagtakhan niya kung ito ay magiging isang magandang awit at pinatugtog ang kanyang gitara habang binabasa niyang muli ang mga salita.
=————————-=
English Version
“’Hello heartbreak we meet again’?”
“No, that isn’t right.”
“Look we’ve been at this for hours, I think it’s time we took a break.”
“Fine you can go outside, I need to keep thinking.”
“You really should rest. I’ve never seen you work this hard.”
“If I’m not going to bleed myself dry for my first album then I might as well quit now.”
“Okay then. I’ll get us some food and we can keep working.”
“……”
“I’ll see you later.”
None of this was right. The words didn’t make sense and the music didn’t make her feel anything at all.
Not like before.
Not with him.
She could still remember the last time she saw him, before he disappeared into the trees. The leaves reflected the quiet light from his skin. She thought about that moment more than she cared to admit.
“I can’t write a song with broken instruments.”
Music was the only way she could speak. That inspiration was his parting gift, she thought. She still didn’t think it made up for the fact she was alone.
“I barely understood it but it gave me a voice.”
Her world was a globe filled with broken islands and frozen wastes, but she knew she had one last thing left to say. Even if no one would hear it.
“
Nothing was ever going to change us
Not even each other
All you did was inspire
Until we had to expire
But if there was one thing
I learned from living
Without you
Every breath you ever had
Was the only gift I ever wanted
“
She wondered if this would make a good song and strummed her guitar as she read the words again.
=——————–=
Inspired by the Lewenri entry in Myth Museum. Medina. 2015.
Lewenri Illustration by Marc Magpantay