“Her name was Anna, we lost her last June.” Jenna was holding back tears.
Elise, the facilitator of the session put her hands in hers and gripped tightly.
“It’s not your fault,” Elise said.
“I should have known, if I did maybe I could have…”
“Let me stop you there. Nothing could have prepared you for this. For any of us.”
Jenna nodded.
“What did the babaylan tell you?”
“It was one of the small spirits. She said they were transplanted from Romblon. Ragit ragit, she called them. It was so simple, All I needed was a black bonnet and they would stay away from my precious Anna, but I didn’t know. I just didn’t know.”
“Thay is why we are here, to go through this together.”
“I would like to talk next.” A heavyset man raised his hand.”
“Ok Erlando, what do you have to say?” Elise nodded.
“My story is similar. The backyard of my house had a large mound. We ignored it when we moved in but the spirit attached to our family. It was infatuated with my pregnant wife and gave her gifts of gold. She rebuffed its advances and we asked for intercession from an albularyo. The spirit was too powerful for him though. She had a miscarriage and hat cut deep in our relationship. We moved to a new house but we couldn’t stand to look at each other. We haven’t spoken in six months.”
“Thank you Erlando.”
“Tell me, what would you have done, Elise?”
“That is not for me to say.”
“But you have power, isn’t it why you brought us all together? The spirits have taken so much from us, our children. How can you sit there and dell us we could do nothing?!”
“This is a place of healing not one of judgement.” Elise’s voice broke.
Jenna raised her hand. “When I look into your eyes I can see it. You lost someone too, didn’t you?
Elise nodded.
“I am a babaylan, I lead souls into the next world, but there was one.. there was one I couldn’t shepherd.”
Jenna gripped Elise’s hands.
“You are in a place of healing. Please tell us.”
“I will try but I would like to say something first. I gathered you all here to talk about your losses to the spirits and it is my hope that I can help you heal.”
She pointed to a couple to her right.
“The bugsok took your son and molded him into a monster.”
She faced a woman next to them.
“You survived a Wak-wak, how you did not bleed to death is a feat in itself but you lost your child.”
Elise’s eyes started to swell up.
“Dwende. Tikbalang. Kapre. Tiyanak. Nuno. Aswang. Wak-wak. Tik-tik. Manananggal. Bugsok. Ragit-ragit. These spirits caused you all unimaginable suffering. Now I will tell you of my own. “
Elise sighed and took a seat.
“I was pregnant before I accepted the calling, though I didn’t know I was with child until one of the elders told me it was time.
Becoming a babaylan is difficult. There are various ways one can be indoctrinated to the calling. Some are possessed by the spirits they want to command while others inherit their power through their family.
I was the latter. There was much joy when I accepted, but it was so hard. The spirits were exacting when an initiate becomes a spirit-talker. Their bodies become that of the spirit world.
Spirits of sorrow and sickness as well as the celestials of skyworld would take my organs and replace them with brass. My skin became as smooth as keratin and they gave me a choice: When they told me I was pregnant they also said that I could not keep the baby, that the power that they granted could not be given because of the child.
So I was there, only a child myself.
I failed to mention why there was jubilation when I accepted. There were spirits, violent and harmful that were threatening our barangay. The elder babaylan was too weak to take on the task, so it fell to me.
Souls are given in the womb, they start as small spheres of life, growing stronger as they age. I touched my baby’s soul and I couldn’t do it. The first act of my becoming a babaylan couldn’t be guiding the soul of my unborn baby to the other world. To sacrifice it for the sake of the many.
The spirits myst have sensed my unease so they took the task. They would guide its soul to the after realm, to the black river of Banua Mebuyan and I would be left with my new duty.
They told me the soul would have been a girl and I collapsed.
This is why I called all of you here. We have lost, but we will survive. We have to.”
Tears fell on the ground and one by one they stood up and hugged Elise.”
“We have to.”
Written by Karl Gaverza
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Inspired by the description in The Creatures of Midnight , Maximo Ramos, Phoenix Publishing, 1990
Illustration by Ferdinand Ladera used with permission from Rob Martin of Pine Box Entertainment and Secret Garden Games
