*Note this story is in Tagalog
“Anna ang pangalan niya, nawala siya sa amin noong nakaraang Hunyo.” Pinipigilan ni Jenna ang kanyang mga luha.
Hinawakan ni Elise, ang facilitator ng sesyon, ang mga kamay ng kausap at mahigpit na hinawakan ang mga ito.
“Hindi mo kasalanan ‘yan,” sabi ni Elise.
“Dapat ay alam ko na; kung alam ko lang, marahil ay nagawa ko sana…”
“Hayaan mong pigilan kita diyan. Walang anumang bagay ang makakapaghanda sa iyo para dito. Para sa sinuman sa atin.”
Tumango si Jenna.
“Ano ang sinabi sa iyo ng babaylan?”
“Isa ito sa mga maliliit na espiritu. Sinabi niyang inilipat sila mula sa Romblon. Ragit ragit, ang tawag niya sa kanila. Napakasimple lang nito – ang kailangan ko lang ay isang itim na bonnet at lalayo sila sa aking pinakamamahal na si Anna – ngunit hindi ko alam. Hindi ko lang alam.”
“Kaya tayo narito, upang harapin ito nang magkasama.”
“Gusto kong magsalita pagkatapos.” Itinaas ng isang lalaking mataba ang kanyang kamay.
“Sige, Erlando, ano ang masasabi mo?” tumango si Elise.
“Katulad ang kwento ko. May malaking bunton sa likod-bahay ko. Hindi naming ito pinansin noong lumipat kami, pero sumama sa pamilya naming ang espiritung iyon. Nahumaling ito sa aking buntis na asawa at binigyan siya ng mga regalong ginto. Tinanggihan niya ang mga pagtatangka nito, at humingi kami ng tulong sa isang albularyo. Gayunpaman, masyadong makapangyarihan para sa kanya ang espiritu. Nakunan siya, at nag-iwan iyon ng malalim na sugat sa aming relasyon. Lumipat kami sa bagong bahay, pero hindi naming kayang magtinginan sa isa’t isa.”“Salamat, Erlando.”
“Sabihin mo sa akin, ano sana ang ginawa mo, Elise?”“Hindi sa akin manggagaling ang pahayag na iyan.”
“Pero may kapangyarihan ka – hindi ba’t kaya mo tayo pinagsama-sama?” Napakarami nang kinuha sa atin ng mga espiritu-ang ating mga anak. Paano ka makakapag-upo lang diyan at sasabihin sa amin na wala kaming magagawa?!”
“Ang lugar na ito ay para sa paghilom, hindi para sa paghuhusga.” Naputol ang boses ni Elise.
Itinaas ni Jenna ang kanyang kamay. “Kapag tumitingin ako sa iyong mga mata, nakikita ko ito. Nawalan ka rin ng mahal sa buhay, ‘di ba?”
Tumango si Elise.
“Ako ay isang babaylan, inaakay ko ang mga kaluluwa sa susunod na mundo, ngunit mayroong isa .. may isa akong hindi napatnubayan.”
Hinawakan nang mahigpit ni Jenna ang mga kamay ni Elise.
“Nasa lugar ka ng paglihom. Pakisabi sa amin.”
“Susubukan ko, pero gusto ko munang magsabi ng isang bagay. Tinipon ko kayong lahat dito upang pag-usapan ang inyong mga pagkawala dahil sa mga espiritu, at umaasa akong makatutulong ako sa inyong paglihom.”
Itinuro niya ang isang magkapareha sa kanyang kanan.
“Kinuha ng Bugsok ang iyong anak at hinubog siya upang maging isang halimaw.”
Humarap siya sa isang babaeng nasa tabi nila.
“Nakaligtas ka sa wak-wak, isang kahanga-hangang bagay na hindi ka naubusan ng dugo at namatay, ngunit nawala sa iyo ang iyong anak.”
Nagsimulang mamaga ang mga mata ni Elise.
“Dwende. Tikbalang. Kapre. Tiyanak. Nuno. Aswang. Wak-wak. Tik-tik. Manananggal. Bugsok. Ragit-ragit. Ang mga espiritung ito ang nagdulot sa inyong lahat ng hindi mailarawang pagdurusa. Ngayon, isasalaysay ko naman ang sa akin.”
Bumuntong-hininga si Elise at naupo.
“Buntis na ako bago ko tinanggap ang tungkulin, bagaman hindi ko alam na nagdadalang-tao ako hanggang sa sabihin sa akin ng isa sa mga nakatatanda na panahon na.
Mahirap ang maging babaylan. May iba’t ibang paraan upang maipasok ang isang tao sa mga prinsipyo at kaisipan ng nasabing tungkulin. Ang ilan ay sinasapian ng mga espiritung nais nilang utusan, habang ang iba naman ay namamana ang kanilang kapangyarihan mula sa kanilang pamilya.
Ako ‘yung huli. Labis ang kagalakan ko noong tinanggap ko ito, ngunit napakahirap nito. Mapanghingi ang mga espiritu kapag ang isang baguhan ay nagiging tagapagsalita ng mga espiritu. Ang kanilang mga katawan ay nagiging katulad ng sa daigdig ng mga espiritu.
Ang mga espiritu ng kalungkutan at sakit, pati na ang mga nilalang na makalangit mula sa mundo sa himpapawid, ay kukuha sa aking mga bahagi ng katawan at papalitan ng mga ito ng tanso. Naging kinis-keratin ang balat ko at binigyan nila ako ng pagpipilian: nang sabihin nila sa akin na buntis ako, sinabi rin nilang hindi ako maaaring panatilihin ang sanggol, na ang kapangyarihang ipinagkaloob nila ay hindi maaaring ibigay dahil sa bata.
Hindi ko nabanggit kung bakit nagkaroon ng malaking kagalakan noong tinanggap ko ito. May mga espiritung marahas at mapaminsala na nagbabanta sa aming barangay. Masyadong mahina ang nakatatandang babaylan upang gampanan ang tungkulin, kaya sa akin ito napunta.
Kaya naroon ako noon, bata pa lamang.
Ang mga kaluluwa ay ipinagkakaloob sa sinapupunan; nagsisimula ang mga ito bilang maliliit na bilog ng buhay na lalong lumalakas habang tumatagal. Hinawakan ko ang kaluluwa ng aking sanggol at hindi ko ito nagawa. Hindi maaaring ang unang hakbang sa aking pagiging babaylan ay ang paggabay sa kaluluwa ng aking hindi pa isinisilang na sanggol patungo sa kabilang-buhay. Isakripisyo ito para sa kapakanan ng nakararami.
Malamang na naramdaman ng mga espiritu ang aking pagkabalisa, kaya sila na ang gumawa ng gawain. Gagabayan nila ang kaluluwa nito patungo sa kabilang-buhay, sa itim na ilog ni Banau Mebuyan, at maiiwan ako kasama ang aking bagong tungkulin.
Sinabihan nila ako na babae sana ang kaluluwang iyon, at napalugmok ako.
Kaya ko kayong lahat ipinatawag dito. Natalo tayo, ngunit mabubuhay tayo. Kailangan natin.”
Pumatak ang mga luha sa lupa, at isa-isa silang tumayo at niyakap si Elise.“Kailangan natin.”
=————————=
English Version
“Her name was Anna, we lost her last June.” Jenna was holding back tears.
Elise, the facilitator of the session put her hands in hers and gripped tightly.
“It’s not your fault,” Elise said.
“I should have known, if I did maybe I could have…”
“Let me stop you there. Nothing could have prepared you for this. For any of us.”
Jenna nodded.
“What did the babaylan tell you?”
“It was one of the small spirits. She said they were transplanted from Romblon. Ragit ragit, she called them. It was so simple, All I needed was a black bonnet and they would stay away from my precious Anna, but I didn’t know. I just didn’t know.”
“Thay is why we are here, to go through this together.”
“I would like to talk next.” A heavyset man raised his hand.”
“Ok Erlando, what do you have to say?” Elise nodded.
“My story is similar. The backyard of my house had a large mound. We ignored it when we moved in but the spirit attached to our family. It was infatuated with my pregnant wife and gave her gifts of gold. She rebuffed its advances and we asked for intercession from an albularyo. The spirit was too powerful for him though. She had a miscarriage and hat cut deep in our relationship. We moved to a new house but we couldn’t stand to look at each other. We haven’t spoken in six months.”
“Thank you Erlando.”
“Tell me, what would you have done, Elise?”
“That is not for me to say.”
“But you have power, isn’t it why you brought us all together? The spirits have taken so much from us, our children. How can you sit there and dell us we could do nothing?!”
“This is a place of healing not one of judgement.” Elise’s voice broke.
Jenna raised her hand. “When I look into your eyes I can see it. You lost someone too, didn’t you?
Elise nodded.
“I am a babaylan, I lead souls into the next world, but there was one.. there was one I couldn’t shepherd.”
Jenna gripped Elise’s hands.
“You are in a place of healing. Please tell us.”
“I will try but I would like to say something first. I gathered you all here to talk about your losses to the spirits and it is my hope that I can help you heal.”
She pointed to a couple to her right.
“The bugsok took your son and molded him into a monster.”
She faced a woman next to them.
“You survived a Wak-wak, how you did not bleed to death is a feat in itself but you lost your child.”
Elise’s eyes started to swell up.
“Dwende. Tikbalang. Kapre. Tiyanak. Nuno. Aswang. Wak-wak. Tik-tik. Manananggal. Bugsok. Ragit-ragit. These spirits caused you all unimaginable suffering. Now I will tell you of my own. “
Elise sighed and took a seat.
“I was pregnant before I accepted the calling, though I didn’t know I was with child until one of the elders told me it was time.
Becoming a babaylan is difficult. There are various ways one can be indoctrinated to the calling. Some are possessed by the spirits they want to command while others inherit their power through their family.
I was the latter. There was much joy when I accepted, but it was so hard. The spirits were exacting when an initiate becomes a spirit-talker. Their bodies become that of the spirit world.
Spirits of sorrow and sickness as well as the celestials of skyworld would take my organs and replace them with brass. My skin became as smooth as keratin and they gave me a choice: When they told me I was pregnant they also said that I could not keep the baby, that the power that they granted could not be given because of the child.
So I was there, only a child myself.
I failed to mention why there was jubilation when I accepted. There were spirits, violent and harmful that were threatening our barangay. The elder babaylan was too weak to take on the task, so it fell to me.
Souls are given in the womb, they start as small spheres of life, growing stronger as they age. I touched my baby’s soul and I couldn’t do it. The first act of my becoming a babaylan couldn’t be guiding the soul of my unborn baby to the other world. To sacrifice it for the sake of the many.
The spirits myst have sensed my unease so they took the task. They would guide its soul to the after realm, to the black river of Banua Mebuyan and I would be left with my new duty.
They told me the soul would have been a girl and I collapsed.
This is why I called all of you here. We have lost, but we will survive. We have to.”
Tears fell on the ground and one by one they stood up and hugged Elise.”
“We have to.”
*Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken as a first language by a quarter of the population of the Philippines and as a second language by the majority. Its standardized form, officially named Filipino, is the national language of the Philippines, and is one of two official languages alongside English.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Ailene Pasco
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Ailene Pasco
Inspired by the description in The Creatures of Midnight , Maximo Ramos, Phoenix Publishing, 1990
Illustration by Ferdinand Ladera used with permission from Rob Martin of Pine Box Entertainment and Secret Garden Games
