*Note this story is in Bicol Naga
“Unfair ini” an hibi ni Sasha ay nag-echo sa kakahuyan. Tighiling niya an siyang letrato kaiba an saiyang mahal sa buhay. Ex-love, tigkorek niya an sadiri. Dae sya makapaniwala sa nangyari, kung papano nadurog an saiyang puso asin kung papano niya ini ibabalik.
Alas tres nin maagahon, aram niya na an saiyang pamilya ay nahahadit na saiya pero mayo siyang pake. An siyang kulog, iyo sana an totoo sa saiyang buhay asin dae niya aram kung papanohon ini. Puro kasinungalingan sana an gabis niyang sinabi? Pantasiya sana an mga oras na ibahan sinda? O takot lamang siyang tanggapon na dae man talaga sya namomotan saiya?
Dae niya kaya, habo niyang isipon an bagay n aini. Gusto niya na lang magkamang sa sarong labot asin Magadan. Mayo naming tada para saiya. At least sa mundong ini. Iniisip niya na mas maray para sa gabos kung tapuson niya na an buhay niya.
Dae napansin ni Sasha an ambon na namumuo sa kataed niya. Dae niya pati na narisa na mayo na siya sa kakahuyan. Nagbabagong anyo an ambon habang siya naghihibi. Luhay-luhay sanang may nabuong hugis nin babae habang pinapatahan an sadiri sa tahaw nin kakulgan.
“Aram mo, dae siya nararapat saimo.” Nagtingala si Sasha asin may nahiling siyang magayon na babae na garo nabuo hale sa ambon nin kagubatan. Kadaklan siguro mahuhmaling sa kababalaghan na ini pero sabi ni Sasha, na may halong pait sa saiyang boses, “Pabayaan moa ko. Dae moa ram kung ano sinasabi mo.”
“Sa hiling ko mas dakol ang aram ko kaysa saimo.” An aparisyo ay nagluwa ning kapidaso nin tela, “Uni, punasa mo luha mo.”
“Pano mo nasabi?” Kinua man sana ni Sasha an kapidasong tela. Dae niya aram kun siisay o ano ito. Baka multo, baka guni-guni, pero mayo na siyang pakiram. Dawa gadanon pa siya kaini, mapapamray pa an saeyang pagmati. Mayo na siyang boot para aramon.
“Hali na ako diyan,” sabi kan babae habang nakahiling kay Sasha pero mate ni Sasha na garo lagpas an paghiling kaini saiya. “An minamahal ko sa buhay ay namoot sa sakuyang tugang na babae.”
“Sako, winalat ako, pinalit sako an bestfriend ko.” Dae bisto ni Sasha kung siisya ni pero ngunyan garo mate niya na pamilyar an ispiritu.
“Dae.” Sigurado an ispirirtu sa saiyang pagkasabi, namate nanaman ni Sasha an pagkadurog kan sarong parte kan saiyang puso. “Pero padagos ka pa man giraray.”
“Pinano mo magpadagos kun sobrang kulog?” Mahigpit an pagkakapot ni Sasha sa tela asin napaluha nanaman siya.
“Iyo ta bako yan an katapusan.” Kinaputan kan babae an saiyang kamot asin nahiling ni Sasha an pagkamakulog sa saiyang mga mata. “Permeng may ibang katapusan, dawa ika pa magsurat.”
Naglaho na sana an babae asin nawalat nanaman nin solo si Sasha.
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English Version
“It’s not fair,” Sasha’s sobs echoed through the forest. She looked straight into the picture of her and her love. Ex-love, she corrected herself. She couldn’t believe what had happened, how her hear broke into a million little shards and how she didn’t think she could put them back together again.
It was 3am, she knew that her family would be worried about her, but she didn’t care. Her pain wasthe only real thing in her life now and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Was everything he said a lie? Was all the time they spent together a fantasy? Was she just afraid to face the truth that he was never in love with her?
She couldn’t, didn’t want to think about any of this. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. There wasn’t anything left for her. Not in this world anyway. She thought it would be best for everyone if she just ended it all.
Sasha didn’t notice the fog build up next to her. She probably didn’t even realize she was in the forest anymore. The dew and the mist were changing next to her, in between her tears. The softly formed into a woman’s form, all while she was seeking comfort in the pain she held close to her.
“He isn’t worth it you know.” Sasha looked up from her hands and she saw a beautiful woman, almost formed out of the mist of the forest. Most people would marvel at this supernatural wonder, but Sasha just held a hint of bitterness in her voice as she said, “Leave me alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I know more than you know.” The apparition brought out a piece of cloth, “Here, this should dry your tears.”
“How would you know?” Sasha took the cloth anyway. She didn’t know who—or what this was. Maybe a ghost, maybe a hallucination, but she didn’t care. Even if this thing came to kill her, it would be a welcome relief from what she was feeling. She couldn’t find the will to care anymore.
“I’ve been there,” the woman was now looking at her, though it seemed to Sasha that she was looking through her. “The love of my life fell in love with my sister.”
“Mine left me for my best friend.” Sasha didn’t know who this was, but now she sensed a kindred spirit. “Does it get any easier?” She didn’t know what to ask, but she knew that she wanted to keep talking.
“No.” The spirit was firm in her voice, Sasha felt a piece of her heart break again. “But you keep going anyway.”
“How can you when it hurts so much?” Sasha gripped the cloth in her hands and felt the tears start to come again.
“Because it’s never the end.” The woman held her hands this time and Sasha could see the sincerity in her eyes. “There’s always another ending, even if you have to write it yourself.”
With that, the woman vanished and Sasha was left alone again.
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*Central Bicol, commonly called Bicol Naga, is the most-spoken language in the Bicol Region of southern Luzon, Philippines. It is spoken in the northern and western part of Camarines Sur, second congressional district of Camarines Norte, eastern part of Albay, northeastern part of Sorsogon, San Pascual town in Masbate, and southwestern part of Catanduanes. Central Bicol speakers can be found in all provinces of Bicol and it is a majority language in Camarines Sur.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Bicol Translation by Angela Arnante
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Angela Arnante
Story inspired by ‘Mariang Binokong’ in Negros Oriental and Siquijor Island Legends, Beliefs and Folkways. Aldecoa-Rodriguez. 2000.
Mariang Binokong Illustration by Nadine Cabe
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