Gregorio was a humble man. He did his work as a barber without any complaints. He made enough to provide for his wife and children and he liked talking to his customers, getting to know their lives. It was therapeutic for him.

One day, the presidente of the town asked him to cut his hair. Gregorio’s friends congratulated him on this job, being the barber of such an important man would do wonders for his business.

Gregorio didn’t think that it was any sort of accomplishment. If you talked to any person in the town you would hear hushed tones of the kind of man the presidente was.

Erlinda Cuntapay failed to pay her taxes one month and the presidente showed up to her house in the middle of the night and ‘repossessed’ some of her belongings ‘for the benefit of the town’ as he said.

When one of his horses stopped in the middle of the street due to exhaustion, the mayor ordered his men to shoot it and to have the other horse pick up the slack.

When it came to election time, even Gregorio wasn’t safe from one of the presidente’s visits. There was still a bruise on his arm and a broken vase that served as reminders to the methods that the presidente would stoop to.

Gregorio took a breath he thought might be his last and entered the presidente’s house.

What he saw shocked him.

On the presidente’s head were two very large horns, very much like that of a carabao’s. The presidente sat down on his chair and waited for Gregorio to cut his hair.

Gregorio was too afraid to say anything. He managed to cut around the horns to have a presentable appearance.
The presidente stood up and gave an approving nod. He noticed Gregorio’s face in the mirror and simply stated:

“I will give the order for you to be hanged if anyone finds out about what you saw today.”

Fear enveloped Gregorio. He said his goodbyes and walked out from the presidente’s house.

Gregorio wasn’t a gossip, he didn’t like to talk about other people. But this secret weighed on the poor man’s shoulders so much that he had to find some sort of release.

He went to the field and saw a bamboo thicket. Gregorio took a shovel and made a hole under the bamboo and he went inside. There, in that hole he shouted at the top of his lungs “The presidente has horns! The presidente has horns!”

Satisfied that he unloaded his burden to the world, Gregorio filled up the hole and made his way home.

What he didn’t know was that there were people that passed by the bamboo and heard a voice through the thicket. Pedro Alejandre was the first to hear it and of course told his friend Sonny Biazon, who told Sofia Antonio, who told Leona Hilario who couldn’t keep it from Carlo Idelfonso who told his sisters Conchita and Ces.

Soon enough the whole town knew about the talking bamboo. Even the councilmen went to the thicket to hear the shouts of “The presidente has horns!”

Gregorio heard that people were gathering at the house of the presidente, but he wanted nothing to do with that. He retreated to his quiet barber’s life.

The people must have had enough of the presidente for new elections were being done without sight of the previous presidente.

The town rejoiced that the cruel presidente was no more and Gregorio breathed a sigh of relief.

He did not know that when the townspeople discovered the horned presidente they killed him on sight, as they thought his wickedness had finally spread to his appearance.

The barber lived out his days in peace, never knowing his role in ridding the town of an evil man.

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Written by Karl Gaverza
Copyright © Karl Gaverza

Adapted from ‘The Presidente Who Had Horns’ in Philippine Folklore Stories. Cole. 1916. full text can be seen at http://www.sacred-texts.com/asia/pft/pft52.htm

The Horned Presidente Illustration by Armie Loraine Corpuz
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/armieraine/

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