*Note this story is in Tagalog
Sa di malayong nakaraan, may isang batang babaeng ginugol ang buhay nya sa paninirahan sa loob ng kanyang isip ; na kung makikita man ng iba kung ano ang nasa loob nito, nanaisin din nilang manatili dito. Sa loob ng kanyang isip, walang katapusan at walang limitasyon ang maari niyang maisip, maramdaman o magawa. Subalit siya ay nasa mundong hindi siya ang may likha.
Ang mundong ito ay may mga puwang sa pagitan: mga lugar na kung saan ang iba’t ibang mundo ay pinaghalo samantalang maraming iba pang mga bagay ang nakakaalpas. Ang mga bagay na ito ay mga espiritu ng galit at pagkawala, kasawian at pagkasira. Alam ng batang babae na naroon lahat ng mga ito bagaman ni minsan ay hindi nakita ang mga ito.
Alam niyang kahit kailan ay hindi nya mapapalayas ang mga ito dahil may isang katotohanang limot na ng nakararami: Na ang di-totoo ay mas makapangyarihan kaysa sa tunay; dahil ang mga di-nakikita at di-nahahawakang mga kaisipan, konsepto at paniniwala lamang ang tunay na tumatagal. Minsan niyang nabasa ang kaalamang ito mula sa isang aklat at natuklasan niyang ang natutunan niya ay mas nagtatagal kaysa sa lupang kanyang nilalakaran.
Kaya ginawa nya ang lahat ng kaya niya. Araw-araw siyang ngumingiti at iniisip nya: baka sakaling sapat na iyon at sa isang banda, maaring tama siya. Tanging kabutihan lamang ng mga tao sa paligid nya ang nakikita nya, at sinusubukan niyang tumingin sa ilalim ng kanilang mga maskara. Sa mundo sa loob ng kanyang isip, alam niyang ang mga tao ay sadyang nagtatago sa likod ng kanilang kahungkagan, kung kaya’t ang sakit na kanilang nararamdaman ay sadyang walang laman.
Ang pinakamahirap itago ay ang mga bagay na nde nakikita. Bawat asandali ang mga espiritu ay patuloy na kakapit sa kahit anong maaring hawakan. Ang batang babae ay lumabas sa bukod tanging paraan na alam niya. Hinayaan niyang gabayan siya ng kanyang pusoat ginamit niya ang kanyang mga salita upang maibahagi niya ang mga pasanin.
Gawi niyang tumingin sa ganda ng kinabukasan at palagi niyang nakikita ang liwanag ng araw. Hindi masama ang palagiang pag-asa sa mga magagandang pangyayari dahil maari naman siyang umiyak sa ibang pagkakataon. Ito ang paraan kung paano siya nabuhay at hindi kailanman niya binago ito. Kahipt pa alam niya ang mga sakit at pasakit na pinagdaraanan ng mga tao.
Ang mga espiritu ay walang humpay ngunit siya din ay hindi susuko. Ang lahat ay walang tigil na pakikibaka para sa kanya, ngunit iyon ang binigay ng buhay sa kanya. Hanggang dumating ang araw na ang mundong nakikita niya ay kagaya na ng nasa ispi niya, gugugulin niya ang lahat ng mga araw upang mangyari ito.
Isang problema sa bawat isang pagkakataon.
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English Version
There once lived a girl who spent her life in her own head, though if others could see what was inside, they would want to live there too. There was no end to what she could think or feel, or imagine. But, alas, she was in a world not of her making.
This world had spaces in between. Places where the world blended with another and certain things could escape. These things were spirits of anger and loss, of misfortune and ruin. The girl could never see them, but she always knew they were there.
She knew that they could never be banished forever, because there was one truth that most people forgot: That the unreal is more powerful than the real, since it is only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs and concepts that can last. She read that in a book somewhere and she knew them to be more lasting than the ground that she walked on.
So she did what she could. Every day she would smile and she thought, maybe, it would be enough, and in a sense she was right. She only saw the best in the people around her and she tried to see through their masks. In the world in her head she knew that people hide within their own emptiness, which is why their pain was always hollow. The hardest things to hide are the ones that aren’t there.
Every moment the spirits would take their time latching on to whatever they could. The girl fought the only way she knew how. She let her heart be her guide and used her words to share a burden. She would look to tomorrow and always see the sun. It never hurt to be optimistic, because she could always cry later.
This is the way she lived her life, and she never changed the way she could be. Not for all the pain that she knew people could feel. The spirits never relented, but neither would she. It was a constant struggle, but that’s what life was to her.
Until the day the world could be like it was in her head, she would spend every day trying to make it so.
One problem at a time.
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*Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken as a first language by a quarter of the population of the Philippines and as a second language by the majority. Its standardized form, officially named Filipino, is the national language of the Philippines, and is one of two official languages alongside English.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Sheila Rose Vidanes Santiago
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Sheila Rose Vidanes Santiago
Inspired by the Maligno myths and Marj
Watercolor by Tara Singson
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