*Note this story is in Hiligaynon

“Akun ni tanan sala.”

 

Ginbalikan sang lalake kung san-o ini nagsugod. Tama ka klaro ang mga senyales, apang may pagbanta na nga magagiya subong. Adlaw-adlaw niya ginapangamuyo nga luwason siya sang Ginoo sa sini nga kabudlayan.  Pero indi ini matu-od syempre, maski silingun sang makaaku nga mag-untat, nahibalu-an niya sa iya tagipusuon nga indi siya makapadayon asta matapos niya ang iya penitensya.

 


 

Isa ka malinong nga hapun, sang ang babaye nagbalik. Mainit ang pagbatun niya sang ini gintabo niya sa airport.

Sang ara ang babaye sa iban nga pungsod, permi ini nagasulat parti sa katugnaw nga iya nabatyagan. Ini iya ginkumpara nga kaangay nga daw gapalanupsup sa iya nga kaugatan.

 

Ginsilingan niya siya nga indi ini importante. Daku nga kabudlay ang inagyan sang babaye, kag ang gusto lang niya makapahuway ini sa ila balay. Wala pa niya nabati-an ang bug-os nga istorya halin sa asawa, pero makita niya sa mga mata sini, nga gusto na lang sini malipatan.  Sa ulihi nga sulat sang babaye, iya ginsaysay kung paano sini indi na masarangan pa nga mapalayo sa ila pamilya.  Nag-ugyon siya, pabay’i da ang kwarta.  Paga-unungan niya ang iya asawa, kag malampuwasan nila ini kag mas mangin mabakod.

 

Sa subong, amu ina ang iya ginapatihan.

 


 

Daw naga-pangpasu ang singsing pangkasal. Katingalahan nga ginasuksok niya pa ini, maski nagapadumdum ini sang mga nagligad sang naigu sang repleksyon sang bulan.  Naglungo na lang siya kag ginhatag ang atensyon sa iya tuyo.

Dira siya niya nasundan, paagi sa mga nagkalain-lain nga apat ka baryo, kag nagalaum siya nga maabtan niya antes ini makapalagyo.

 

Sang una, iya ginpaminsar nga mapauntat niya ini antes pa makapang biktima, kay madali ini siya makilal-an.

Sa tunga sang nagabiti nga init sang adlaw, pagkatapos sang isa ka bulan nga paglagas – lagas sa asawa, gin-aku niya sa iya kaugalingon.

 

Mas makusog. Mas madasig.

 

Mas baris nga indi niya maintindihan.

 

Mabug-at ang singsing sa iya tudlo, pero ang inggat sini nagpadumdum sa iya sang pila ka butang. Amu ini ang iya kalbaryo, kag duha lang ka butang ang makapauntat sini.

 


 

Pagkatapos sang isa ka semana nga pagpahuway halin sa pagka-jetlag, gilayon na ini nagbulig sa sulod balay.

Ang mga bata nila nga lalaki, nalipay gid nga nagpauli ang ila iloy. Wala siya nahadlok nga aku-on nga, daw mahibi siya, sang makita niya gahampang ini kaupod sa ila mga kabataan.

 

Sang ginbatun sang babaye ang oportunidad nga mag-ubra sa iban nga pungsod, tam-an pa ka gagmay ang ila kabataan para maintiendihan ang pagsakripisyo sini. Sadto nga adlaw, ginhakus niya sila sang hugot kag nag-promisa nga magabalik ini gilayun. Nagsiling ini nga palangga niya gid sila asta sa katubtuban.

 

Ang ulihi nga ginhingyo sang iya asawa, amu ang promisa nga iya pagatatapun ang ila mga kabataan.

 

Wala sang pag-alang-alang nga nagpromisa siya.

 

Naglakat na sila, kag nagbalik sa ila bag-o nga pangabuhi, nagahulat sang adlaw nga mangin kumpleto liwat sila.

 


 

Basi amu na sadtu ang ulihi nga adlaw nga ang iya asawa isa ka tawo.

 

Sang una nga nagpalagyo ang iya asawa halin sa ila balay, ginhimu niya ang tanan para mahibalu-an kung ano gid ang natabu sa iban nga pungsod. Indi siya makalakat didto nga siya mismo, apang may komunidad sang mga Pilipino nga nakahibalu kung sa diin gatinir ang iya asawa.

 

Nagsulat siya sa ila kag ang ila mga sabat daw makatilingala.

 

Suno sa ila, wala gid gaistorya ang iya asawa parte sa iya amo. Sa ila mga pagtipon, nagahimu man lang ang iya asawa sang lumpia, kag maga-istorya sang iban nga bagay pareho sang iya nabilin nga pamilya kag kung ano nga kahidlaw sang iya asawa sa ila. Isa sa mga Pilipino didtu amu ang tigulang nga nars, kag nagmuno sa iya nga daw may lain sa mga mata sang babaye.  Bisan ano katagu sang iya asawa, makita nga nahadlok ini.

 

Nagbalos sa sulat niya ang nars kag ginsugid lang ang nabal-an sini parte sa amo sang babaye. Ini isa ka man ka Pinoy nga nangin madinalag-on sa iban nga pungsod, sa kung paano nga paagi, wala sini mahibaluan. Suno sa istorya sini, ang amo gid sini ang naghingyo nga isa ka Pinay ang magatatap sa iya kag magabayad ini sang daku nga balor para diri.

 

Liwan sa amu ni nga detalye, ang iban mga kuno-kuno na lang nga istorya nga indi man makabulig. Suno sa iban, kilanlan sang iya amo nga lalake, nga maghalin sa Pilipinas tungod sa mga ilegal nga ulubrahon. Siling naman sang iban, ang iya mga asawa wala gadugay sang duha ka tuig pagkatapos niya pakaslan, kag siya naghalin para indi pagsuspetsahan. May mga maayo man nga istorya, pareho sang,  siya naglakat para mahatagan sang maayo nga pangabuhi.

 

Ini tanan nga mga wala gakaangot nga istorya, wala sang pulos.

 

Wala sang pulos ang natabo.

 

Paano ini nahimo sang iya asawa sa ila pamilya nga pinalangga?

 


 

Ulihi na siya.

 

Ulihi na lang siya permi.

 

Subong, isa naman ka bata-on nga mag-asawa kaupod ang ila anak, may masanag nga bwasdamlag kung tani. Ang mga kinan-an kag natunga nila nga bangkay nagalinapta sa ila nga sala. Nagapakita nga siya tuyo batu-an sang isa ka amay, apang ang iya mga kuko dasig nga nagisi ang kaundan sini.

 

Pagkatapos sang tinuig sa hampang nga ini, tig-a na ang iya balatyagon sa tanan luwas diri.

 

Gin-isip niya liwat kag gindugang sa nagadaku nga numero.

 

Siento kuwarenta y siete.

 

Siento kuwarenta y siete ka inosente nga mga kabuhi.

 

Siento kuwarenta y siete ka tawo nga ang dugo yara sa mga kamot niya.

 

Nahibalu-an niya nga ang ini nga numero magadaku pa, kung indi niya ini mapunggan.

 

Makahalam-ot nga madali niya maobserbahan ang asawa. Wala sini ginatago ang pilas.

Ang ruta sini sa mga banwa sang Panay kag lampas pa. Nakita ini sa Tuguegarao, Cagayan de Oro, Mindoro kag Puerto Princesa. Ang istorya sang babaye permi mabati-an sang mga bata gikan sa ila ginikanan, sa kung diin sila ginapahog nga kuhaon sila sang babaye sa gab-i kung indi sila mangin mapinatihon.

 

Balan sang lalake nga maski siya magdaug, ang istorya sini magapabilin.

 

Apang indi nila mahibalu-an ang istorya sa likod sang karakter nga ini.

 

Ang amay nga tuyu lang masalbar paagi sa paghimalos, ang bana nga wala ginsapak ang mga pag-andam, ang lalaki nga ang gusto lang mangin kumpleto ang ila pamilya.

 

Samtang nagatindug ang lalaki sa dugo sang pinaka bag-o nga biktima sang babaye, siya natingala kung sin-o ang magapangibabaw?

 

Ang kadalag-an niya?

 

Ukon ang kadalag-an sini?

=—————————=

Engilsh Version

It’s all my fault.

He thinks back to when it all started. The signs were obvious, but he had the benefit of hindsight to guide him now. He prayed every day that God would deliver him from this labor. That was just for show of course, even if the lord told him to stop, in his heart he couldn’t go on until he fulfilled his penance.


It was a quiet afternoon when she came back. He met her at the airport with all the warmth he could muster. During her stay abroad, she would always write about how the cold made her feel. She described it as the chill becoming a ghost, doing everything possible to find a way into your veins.

He told her it didn’t matter. She had gone through a great ordeal and he wanted to get her settled in their home. He still hadn’t heard the whole story from her, but he could see in her eyes that she just wanted to forget. In the last letter she sent she wrote about how she couldn’t be away from her family anymore. He agreed, money be damned. He would see his wife through this and their family would come out stronger.

At least that’s what he believed.


The wedding ring on his finger burned. He wondered why he still wore it, considering the memories that played through his mind when it reflected the moonlight. He shook his head and tried to focus. He tracked her here through four different barrios and hoped that he could get to her before she ran away.

In the beginning, he foolishly thought that he would be able to stop her before she claimed another victim, after all she was easy to spot. In the harsh light of day that followed his first month of pursuing her, he had to admit to himself.

She was stronger. She was faster.

She possessed more cruelty than he could ever understand.

The ring felt heavy in his hand, but its glint reminded him of something else. This was his cross to bear, and there were only two ways it could ever end.


After a week of readjustment, she had fixed her jet lag and began to help around the house. The boys were thrilled to have their mother back. He wasn’t afraid to admit that the sight of her, playing with the children she had left, brought tears to his eyes.

When she accepted the offer to go abroad their children were too young to understand the sacrifice she was about to endure. That day, she hugged them tight and promised them that she would be back as soon as she can. She told them she would love them forever.

The last thing that she asked of him was to give his word that he would take care of their children.

There was no hesitation when he made that oath.

They waved goodbye and settled into their new lives, waiting for the day they would be complete again.


Maybe that was the last time she was truly human.

When she fled the first time, after the incident, he did all he could to find out what really happened abroad. He couldn’t travel there himself, but he knew that there was a community of Filipinos where she had stayed.

He wrote to them and their answers were troubling.

They said she never talked about her employer. During their gatherings she would make lumpia and talk about other things like her family back home and how much she missed them. One of the Filipinos there was an old nurse and she mentioned that there was something in her eyes. No matter how hard she tried to mask it, she was afraid.

The nurse wrote back about what she knew about the employer. First that he was a fellow Filipino that gained success abroad, though through which channels she wasn’t sure. He had specifically requested a Filipina be his caregiver and he was willing to pay a good amount of money for it.

Apart from that the nurse only had rumors that weren’t much help. Some said that he had to leave the Philippines because his family was involved in illegal ventures. Others say his wives never lived past two years of marriage and he left to avoid suspicion. There were kinder stories where he left to give his family a better life.

All these conflicting stories made no sense.

What happened made no sense.

How could she do that to the family she loved?


He was too late.

He was always too late.

This time it was a family of three, a young couple that had a bright future ahead of them. Their half-eaten corpses scattered around what remained of their sala*. It looked like the father tried to fight her off but her claws ripped through him easily.

After years of this game he was already numb to all emotions but one.

He counted again and added it to the growing number.

147.

147 innocent lives.

147 people whose blood was on his hands.

He knew that number would not stop growing, not until he finished what she started.

It was almost funny that she was so easy to track. She didn’t even try to hide the scar. Her path cut through the towns of Panay and even beyond. She was seen in Tuguegarao, Cagayan de Oro, Mindoro and Puerto Princesa. Her story was heard by children whose parents warned them that she would take them in the night if they were disobedient.

He knew that even if he succeeded, her legend would live on.

But they would never know of the forgotten character of the story.

The father seeking redemption in revenge, the husband that ignored the warnings, the man that only wanted his family to be complete.

As he stood over the blood of her latest victims, he wondered which ending would prevail?

His triumph?

Or hers?


*Living room

*The Hiligaynon language, also colloquially referred often by most of its speakers simply as Ilonggo, is an Austronesian regional language spoken in the Philippines by about 9.1 million people, mainly in Western Visayas and SOCCSKSARGEN, most of whom belong to the Visayan ethnic group, mainly the Hiligaynons. It is the second-most widely spoken language and a member of the so-named Visayan language family and is more distantly related to other Philippine languages.

Written by Karl Gaverza
Hiligaynon translation by Pauline Brooks Dalisay
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Pauline Brooks Dalisay

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