*Note this story is in Tagalog
“Ang daya” sabi ni Sasha habang umiiyak sa kagubatan. Tumingin siya sa litrato kasama ang sinisinta niya. “Dating mahal pala” sagot ni Sasha sa sarili. Hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga nangyari, kung paano nadurog ang puso niya na humantong sa kaniyang pagkakamanhid at pagdududa.
Ikatlo na ng madaling araw iyon at nag-aalala na ang pamilya ni Sasha, pero hindi niya ito pinansin. Nahihirapan siya sa kaniyang nararamdaman at hindi niya alam ang gagawin dito. Lahat ba ng sinabi niya ay isang kasinungalingan lamang? Wala bang katotohanan sa kanilang pagsasama? Natatakot ba si Sasha harapin ang katotohanan na hindi siya minahal kailanman ng kaniyang kasintahan?
Ayaw niya nang isipin ang hirap. Gusto na lang ni Sasha humukay ng puntod at malibing ng buhay, dahil wala ng natitira para sa kaniya sa mundo. Mas pipiliin niya na lang na tapusin ang lahat ng sakit.
Hindi napansin ni Sasha na kumakapal ang hamog sa tabi niya. Sa sobrang kapal nito, marahil hindi niya na nakikita ang kagubatan sa paligid. Nagbabago ang anyo ng hamog habang siya ay umiiyak, hanggang sa naghugis babae ito at sinamahan siya sa kaniyang lungkot.
“Hindi siya karapat-dapat iyakan.” Napatingala si Sasha at nakita niya ang isang mahiwagang babaeng nagtataglay ng kagandahan. Mamamangha ang isang pangkaraniwang tao sa kababalaghang iyon pero hindi si Sasha at sumagot siya rito. “Lumayo ka nga sa akin. Hindi mo alam kung ano ang pinagsasabi mo.”
“Sa tingin ko mas marami akong alam kumpara sa iyo.” Nagparamdam ng kabaitan ang mahiwagang babae, nag-abot ito ng panyo at sinabi, “Heto, punasan mo ang iyong luha.”
“Paano mo naman nasabi” sagot ni Sasha habang kinukuha niya ang panyo ng babae. Hindi niya alam kung sino o ano ang kaniyang kaharap. Baka isa itong multo o guni-guni, pero hindi niya na ito inalintala. Dahil kung sakaling papatayin siya nito, papabayaan niya lang ang babae para matapos na ang kaniyang paghihirap. Wala na siyang pakialam dito.
“Napagdaanan ko kasi iyan” sagot ng babae habang nakatingin sa kaniya, kahit na nagmumukhang nakatingin ang babae sa kalooban ni Sasha. Nagpatuloy ang babae, “Minamahal ng aking sinisinta ang kapatid kong babae.”
“Sa akin naman yung matalik kong kaibigan” sabi ni Sasha. Hindi niya pa rin alam kung sino ang kaniyang kinakausap pero nararamdaman niyang mabait ito. “Gagaan naman ba ang pasanin ko?” Hindi na alam ni Sasha kung ano pa gusto niyang itanong, pero isa lang ang ninanais niya at iyon ay ang makipag-usap.
“Hindi” tuwid na isinagot ng babae at nalungkot ulit si Sasha . “Pero kailangan pa ring ipagpatuloy ang buhay” sabi ng babae.
“Paano ako magpapatuloy habang dala-dala itong sakit?” Tanong ni Sasha habang mahigpit ang kapit sa panyo.
“Dahil hindi pa ito ang katapusan.” Sagot ng babae at ngayon hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ni Sasha. Nakikita niya na busilak ang kalooban ng babae at nagpatuloy ulit ito, “Hindi pa tapos ang lahat dahil nagsisimula pa lang ang iyong kuwento at ikaw mismo ang magsusulat kung paano ito magwawakas.”
Pagktapos niya itong sabihin, biglang naglaho ang babae at mag-isa ulit si Sasha sa kagubatan.
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English Version
“It’s not fair,” Sasha’s sobs echoed through the forest. She looked straight into the picture of her and her love. Ex-love, she corrected herself. She couldn’t believe what had happened, how her hear broke into a million little shards and how she didn’t think she could put them back together again.
It was 3am, she knew that her family would be worried about her, but she didn’t care. Her pain wasthe only real thing in her life now and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Was everything he said a lie? Was all the time they spent together a fantasy? Was she just afraid to face the truth that he was never in love with her?
She couldn’t, didn’t want to think about any of this. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. There wasn’t anything left for her. Not in this world anyway. She thought it would be best for everyone if she just ended it all.
Sasha didn’t notice the fog build up next to her. She probably didn’t even realize she was in the forest anymore. The dew and the mist were changing next to her, in between her tears. The softly formed into a woman’s form, all while she was seeking comfort in the pain she held close to her.
“He isn’t worth it you know.” Sasha looked up from her hands and she saw a beautiful woman, almost formed out of the mist of the forest. Most people would marvel at this supernatural wonder, but Sasha just held a hint of bitterness in her voice as she said, “Leave me alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I know more than you know.” The apparition brought out a piece of cloth, “Here, this should dry your tears.”
“How would you know?” Sasha took the cloth anyway. She didn’t know who—or what this was. Maybe a ghost, maybe a hallucination, but she didn’t care. Even if this thing came to kill her, it would be a welcome relief from what she was feeling. She couldn’t find the will to care anymore.
“I’ve been there,” the woman was now looking at her, though it seemed to Sasha that she was looking through her. “The love of my life fell in love with my sister.”
“Mine left me for my best friend.” Sasha didn’t know who this was, but now she sensed a kindred spirit. “Does it get any easier?” She didn’t know what to ask, but she knew that she wanted to keep talking.
“No.” The spirit was firm in her voice, Sasha felt a piece of her heart break again. “But you keep going anyway.”
“How can you when it hurts so much?” Sasha gripped the cloth in her hands and felt the tears start to come again.
“Because it’s never the end.” The woman held her hands this time and Sasha could see the sincerity in her eyes. “There’s always another ending, even if you have to write it yourself.”
With that, the woman vanished and Sasha was left alone again.
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*Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken as a first language by a quarter of the population of the Philippines and as a second language by the majority. Its standardized form, officially named Filipino, is the national language of the Philippines, and is one of two official languages alongside English.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Emman Bernardino
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Emman Bernardino
Mariang Binokong Illustration by Nadine Cabe
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