Sarong mapahunod na tawo si Gregorio. Tiga-gibo nya an saiyang trabahong paragupit na daeng reklamo. Sakto sana an saiyang sahod nganing may maitao sya sa saiyang agom asin mga akî, asin muyahon nyang makipaguron sa saiyang mga parabakal, pati maaraman an saindang mga buhay. Nakakatabang uto para saiya.
Sarong aldaw, an presidente nin banwâ nag-apot saiya kun pwede syang gupitan. An mga barkada ni Gregorio tigbarati sya sa trabahong ini tâ nakakatabang nin maray sa negosyo nya an paggupit sa sarong tawong sikat asin kilala.
Ugaring dae man tigaisip ni Gregorio na swerte uto. Kun kakaurunon mo maski sisay sa banwâ ninda, madadangog mo sainda an kauyaman ninda sa presidente.
Si Erlinda Cuntapay nganî dae nakabayad kan saiyang buwis sa sarong bulan kayâ nagduman an presidente sa saiyang arong maski matangâ na asin ‘kinuwâ’ an saiyang ari-arian ‘para sa ikararahay kan banwâ’ an tinaram nya.
Kan nagpundo an saiyang kabayô sa sobrang pagal sa tahaw kan dalan, sinugô kan alkalde sa saiyang mga tawo na badilon ini asin palitan kan sarô pang kabayô na maguyod sainda.
Kan panahon na kan eleksyon, maski si Gregorio bakô ligtas sa pagbisita kan presedente. Igwa pa syang mga lugad sa saiyang takyag sagkod ngunyan, asin may pasâ pang pasô na sarong pagirumdom sa mga kayang gibuhon kan president.
Nag-angos nin ararom si Gregorio, garo man sana pang-udyan nya na utong inangos, asin luminaog na sya sa arong kan president.
Nakigkig sya sa nailing nya.
Sa payo kan presidente may duwang dakulaong sungay, arog nanggad kan sa karabaw. Nagtukaw an presidente sa saiyang tukawan asin nag-alat kay Gregorio na gupitan an saiyang buhok.
Takutunong maray si Gregorio kayâ dae makataram. Nagibo nya mang gupitan sa palibot kan sungay nganing magkaigwang presentableng itsura.
Nagtindog an presidente asin nag-tao nin pa-iyong tangô. Natînuhan nya an pandok ni Gregorio sa salamin asin nagtaram:
“Papabigtîon ta ka pag may ibang tawong nakaaram sa nailing mo ngunyan.”
Tigpalibutan nin takot si Gregorio. Nagpaaram na ini asin uminali sa arong kan presidente.
Bakô man tsismoso si Gregorio, abô nya man parakaurunon an mga tawo masyado. Pero sa sobrang gabat kan sikreto sa abaga kan kairak na lalaki, muya nyang paluwason ini.
Nagduman sya sa kabâsan asin may nailing na sarong butong. Nagkua sya nin pala asin nagkalot sa irarom kan botong asin naglaog sya. Duman sa luhô, suminuriyaw sya, “May sungay an presidente! May sungay an presidente!”
Namarayan sa ginibo nyang pag-ali kan gabat sa kinâban, tinakluban nya su luhô asin uminulî.
An dae nya aram, may mga tawong nagaragi sa may butong asin nadangog an boses alî duman. Si Pedro Alejandre an inot na nakadangog kâto asin tinaram nya ini sa saiyang amigo na si Sonny Biazon, na tinaram man kay Sofia Antonio, na tinaram man kay Leona Hilario na dae man matago kay Carlo Idelfonso na tinaram man sa mga tugang nyang sina Conchita asin Ces.
Makalagpas an pirang oras, nakaabot na sa buong banwâ manongod sa nagtataram na botong. Maski an mga tawuhan kan presidente nagduman sa may botong, madangog sana an “May sungay an presidente!”
Nadangog ni Gregorio na nagatiripon an mga tawo sa arong kan presidente, pero aram nyang wara man uto kinaaraman saiya. Buminalik sya sa daeng ribok nyang buhay barbero.
Napagal naman garo an mga tawo sa presidente tâ nangyayari an mga bâgong eleksyon na dae naiiling an nakaaging presidente.
Nagugma an bilog na banwâ tâ warâ na an presidente ninda asin nakaangos na nin maray si Gregorio.
Dae nya aram na kan naaram kan mga tawo an sungay kan presidente, ginadan ninda ini tulos, tâ unâ ninda an saiyang sogot nakaabot na sa saiyang itsura.
Nabuhay nin may kamurawayan an barbero na dae aram an saiyang ginibo sa pagpalayas kan sogot sa banwâ alî sa demonyong presidente.
English Version
Gregorio was a humble man. He did his work as a barber without any complaints. He made enough to provide for his wife and children and he liked talking to his customers, getting to know their lives. It was therapeutic for him.
One day, the presidente of the town asked him to cut his hair. Gregorio’s friends congratulated him on this job, being the barber of such an important man would do wonders for his business.
Gregorio didn’t think that it was any sort of accomplishment. If you talked to any person in the town you would hear hushed tones of the kind of man the presidente was.
Erlinda Cuntapay failed to pay her taxes one month and the presidente showed up to her house in the middle of the night and ‘repossessed’ some of her belongings ‘for the benefit of the town’ as he said.
When one of his horses stopped in the middle of the street due to exhaustion, the mayor ordered his men to shoot it and to have the other horse pick up the slack.
When it came to election time, even Gregorio wasn’t safe from one of the presidente’s visits. There was still a bruise on his arm and a broken vase that served as reminders to the methods that the presidente would stoop to.
Gregorio took a breath he thought might be his last and entered the presidente’s house.
What he saw shocked him.
On the presidente’s head were two very large horns, very much like that of a carabao’s. The presidente sat down on his chair and waited for Gregorio to cut his hair.
Gregorio was too afraid to say anything. He managed to cut around the horns to have a presentable appearance.
The presidente stood up and gave an approving nod. He noticed Gregorio’s face in the mirror and simply stated:
“I will give the order for you to be hanged if anyone finds out about what you saw today.”
Fear enveloped Gregorio. He said his goodbyes and walked out from the presidente’s house.
Gregorio wasn’t a gossip, he didn’t like to talk about other people. But this secret weighed on the poor man’s shoulders so much that he had to find some sort of release.
He went to the field and saw a bamboo thicket. Gregorio took a shovel and made a hole under the bamboo and he went inside. There, in that hole he shouted at the top of his lungs “The presidente has horns! The presidente has horns!”
Satisfied that he unloaded his burden to the world, Gregorio filled up the hole and made his way home.
What he didn’t know was that there were people that passed by the bamboo and heard a voice through the thicket. Pedro Alejandre was the first to hear it and of course told his friend Sonny Biazon, who told Sofia Antonio, who told Leona Hilario who couldn’t keep it from Carlo Idelfonso who told his sisters Conchita and Ces.
Soon enough the whole town knew about the talking bamboo. Even the councilmen went to the thicket to hear the shouts of “The presidente has horns!”
Gregorio heard that people were gathering at the house of the presidente, but he wanted nothing to do with that. He retreated to his quiet barber’s life.
The people must have had enough of the presidente for new elections were being done without sight of the previous presidente.
The town rejoiced that the cruel presidente was no more and Gregorio breathed a sigh of relief.
He did not know that when the townspeople discovered the horned presidente they killed him on sight, as they thought his wickedness had finally spread to his appearance.
The barber lived out his days in peace, never knowing his role in ridding the town of an evil man.
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*The Bikol languages or Bicolano languages are a group of Central Philippine languages spoken mostly in the Bicol Peninsula in the island of Luzon, the neighboring island province of Catanduanes and the island of Burias in Masbate. There is a dialect continuum between the Visayan languages and the Bikol languages; the two together are called the Bisakol languages.
The Tabaco-Legazpi-Sorsogon (TLS) dialect is spoken in the eastern coast of Albay and the northeastern part of Sorsogon. TLS is the dialect that has been most influenced by the Inland Bikol languages.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Jeremiah Cordial
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Jeremiah Cordial
Adapted from ‘The Presidente Who Had Horns’ in Philippine Folklore Stories. Cole. 1916. full text can be seen at http://www.sacred-texts.com/asia/pft/pft52.htm
The Horned Presidente Illustration by Armie Loraine Corpuz
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