*Note this story is in Tagalog
Sasabihin ko sa’yo kung ano ang pakiramdam ng mawala sa kagubatan.
Una, sa tingin mo nagkamali ka nang dinaanan. Medyo namumukaan mo pa rin ang mga puno sa paligid at iniisip mo na kapag bumalik ka, magiging maayos ang lahat at makikita mo ulit ang tamang daan.
Susunod, nagsimula kang magtaka kung malalagpasan mo ulit yung batong nakita mo nang nakalipas na limang minuto. Nagsimula nang mag-iba ang hitsura ng mga puno sa paligid, pero sigurado ka na iyon yung mga punong nalagpasan mo kani-kanina lang. Kaya tumigil ka para bigyan ang sarili ng oras para makapag-isip.
Nagsimula ka nang mataranta. Hindi mo na alam kung gaano katagal ka nang nawawala, at sa puntong ito hindi na iyon mahalaga. Sinimulan mong tingnan ang mga gamit mo na maaaring makatulong sa iyo: telepono, ilaw, at iba pa, pero lahat ng ito ay hindi gumagana. Bigla kang napaisip kung ano ang mangyayari kapag walang nakakita sa iyo. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso mo habang palakas nang palakas ang iyong paghinga.
Ang kaligtasan mo ang iyong prayoridad. Binuksan mo ulit ang iyong bag at tinitingnan mo kung aabot ang iyong pagkain at inumin hanggang sa ikaw ay mailigtas. Sabay mong inaatupag ang paggawa ng plano kung sakaling hindi ka makita at itinatanggi ang ginagawa mong paghahanda.
Umabot sa pagkakataong nagkaroon ka ng pag-asa. Mayroon kang nakikita sa malayo, hindi mo sila makilala, pero nawawala ang iyong pag-aalala. Nakita mo ang daan pabalik sa iyong bahay.
Sumigaw ka sa kanila, pero hindi sila sumasagot. Sinubukan mong tumakbo papunta sa kanila at umaasa na tumigil sila sa paglalakad, pero hindi mo sila maabutan. Wala ng ibang mas mahalaga. Kailangan mo silang maabutan para ikaw ay makauwi.
Kaya hinabol mo sila, tumakbo ka nang tumakbo.
Naabutan mo ang padilim na kagubatan, hanggang sa naglaho ang natitirang liwanag sa kalayuan.
Sinubukan mo pa rin silang habulin. Umaasa at Nagdarasal.
Sila ang gagabay sa iyo pauwi.
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English Version
Let me tell you what it’s like to get lost in these woods.
First, you think that you just took a wrong turn. The trees still seem familiar and you tell yourself that if you just turn back, everything will be fine and you’ll be back on the trail in no time.
Next, you start to wonder if that rock was the same one you saw five minutes ago. The trees are starting to look different, but you could swear they were the ones you knew you passed. You stop and tell yourself it’s time to think. You need to be rational about this.
Then the panic starts to set in. You don’t know how long you’ve been lost, and at this point it doesn’t matter. You check all your things for anything that might help: A cellphone, a flashlight, anything, but nothing seems to be working. You start to think about what would happen if no one found you. Your heart starts to beat ten times faster as your breath gets louder and louder.
Survival is your new goal. You start to go through your backpack and think about how your food and water are going to last until someone finds you. You make plans for the worst case, all the while denying that you’re right in the middle of it.
Then you see hope. Someone in the distance, you can’t make out who they are, but your heart gets lighter. You found your way home.
You shout at the person, but they don’t respond. You run towards them hoping they would stop, but you can never catch them.
Nothing else is important. You have to get to them so that you can go home.
So you chase.
And run.
Until the woods get darker, until the last sliver of sunlight vanishes from the distance.
You go after them. Hoping, praying.
They will lead you home.
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*Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken as a first language by a quarter of the population of the Philippines and as a second language by the majority. Its standardized form, officially named Filipino, is the national language of the Philippines, and is one of two official languages alongside English.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Emman Bernardino
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Emman Bernardino
Inspired by the Tiyanak description in ‘Vicente Meets a Crowd of Tianac’ in Philippine Folk Literature: The Legends. Eugenio. 2002.
Tiyanal (Kapampangan) Illustration by Leandro Geniston from Aklat ng mga Anito
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