*Note this story is in Filipino
Sa pinakamamahal kong anak,
Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka ngayon. Sana ay batid ko. Sana ay makita kitang muli, kahit isang beses pa—kahit sa huling pagkakataon. Hindi mailalarawan ng mga salita kung gaano ko pinanabikan ang makasama kang muli.
Napakaganda mo sa bistidang iyon. Tandang-tanda ko pang ikaw ang pumili nu’n at ipinagmamalaki mo pa nga sa lahat ng nagtatanong! Nagniningning ka sa gabing iyon—litaw na litaw ang iyong ngiti sa gitna ng inilugay mong mahaba at maitim na buhok. Hindi ko malilimutan ang ngiti mong iyon. ‘Yon ang unang beses na dumalo ka sa party ng mga matatanda at nakakatawa kung pano’ng labis mong sinubukan na umastang katulad namin. Sana nga ay hindi ka tumanda nang ganu’n kabilis.
Ikaw ang pinakamagandang dalaga sa paningin ng lahat, ngunit ang nakikita ko lang nu’n ay ang munti kong prinsesa. Ang anak kong ‘pag nilaro ang ang kanyang mga beanie babies ay halos apat na oras kung abutin, ang batang ayaw kumain ng gulay kung ‘di namin kakantahan. Ang aking baby girl.
Gumugol ka ng maraming oras para paghandaan ang party hanggang sa ‘di mo namalayang mahuhuli ka na sa pagdating. Tarantang-taranta ka no’n at tawang-tawa naman sa’yo ang iyong ama. Para kasing ikaguguho ng iyong mundo ang pagiging huli.
Patawad. Dapat ay nanatili ako doon. Dapat ay nandu’n ako nung winasak ng lalaking ‘yon ang puso mo. Nu’ng bigong-bigo ka at tumakbo patawid ng lansangan nang hindi tumitingin kahit saan. Hindi ko pa din mapatawad ang sarili ko sa nangyari sa’yo.
Ako ang iyong ina. Ako dapat ang nagtanggol sa’yo nung talikuran ka ng mundo. Ako dapat ang sumagip sa’yo.
Sabik na sabik na akong makita kang muli. Araw-araw kong pinanananghuyan ang buhay na hindi ka kasama—ang buhay na parang walang laman dahil wala ka. Gusto kitang hagkan at ‘di na muling pakawalan. Ang mundo ko’y walang saysay ngayong wala ka na.
Makikita kitang muli.
Hintayin mo ako.
————————–
English Version
To my lovely daughter,
I don’t know where you are right now. I wish I did. I wish I could see you one last time. I don’t know if I can put into words how much I miss you.
You looked so beautiful in that dress. I remember you picked it out yourself. You were so proud. You styled your long, black hair so wonderfully and your smile lit up the entire room. I still remember your smile. It was your first grown-up party, and you tried so hard to act like an adult. I just wished you didn’t grow up so fast.
You were a beautiful young woman, but all I could see was my baby girl. The girl that played with her beanie babies for four hours a day, the little girl that refused to eat her vegetables until we sang her a song. My baby girl.
You spent so much time getting ready that you didn’t notice you were late for the party. You were panicking so much that your daddy and I couldn’t help but laugh. You thought your whole world was going to end.
I’m sorry. I should have been there. I should have been there when that boy broke your heart. When you were so heartbroken you ran across the street without even looking. I will never forgive myself for what happened to you.
I was your mother. I was supposed to be the one who protected you from the world. I should have saved you.
I miss you so much. I cry every day because living without you is so empty. I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. This world doesn’t mean anything if I can’t have you with me.
I will see you again.
Please wait for me.
————————–
Written by Karl Gaverza
Tagalog Translation by Alpine Moldez
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Alpine Moldez
Story inspired by the White Lady legends
White Lady Illustration and Watercolor by Yanna Gemora
FB Page: Yannami
