*Note this story is in Bicol-Naga

“Anó an tanog na ini?”

“Dai ko aram, an tanog garo nagngunguya. Tibaad sarong nagpapangudto nin lalaw na hayop.”

“Likayan ta an dalan kun sain ini hali. Mari na, kaipuhan ta magdalidali, paabot na an natatada sa sainda.”

“Dai ko maaraman kun pano mo ako kinakaulay manongod sa estupidong pangangayam na ini, bako ini arog kan muya ko sa manga tawong ini”

“Eksakto, magagamit mo an pagkasuya na iyan tanganing mag-ungos an samuyang kapangganahan, maduman na kita, sa hiling ko an masunod na tanda iyo an yaon sa ibabaw kan bulod na ini.”
“Nago, alagad kun manggana, tatawan mo ako nin 2 pidaso nin manok hali sa Jollibee.”
“KAGURANGNAN TANG DIOS!”
“Ok, ok, nago, sarong pidaso na sana.”

“Dai! Maghiling ka digdi. Diosmiyo, Kagurangnan tang Dios!”
“Ano ‘ni—– Linti—–“
“Saro ining gadan na hawak!”
“Nahiling ko idto!”
“Anong gigibuhon ta?!”

“Okey, kalmado sana, maghinangos sana!”
“Diosmiyoperdones Kagurangnan tang dios.”
“MAGHANGOS SABI KO! Makibilang ka sakuya, saro. Duwa. Tolo.”

“Saro. Duwa. Tolo.”

“Hilinga? Kaipuhan ta sanang magin kalmado asin—– ANONG IMPYERNO INI”
“Naghihiro ini! Abaanang Dyosmiyoperdon ”
“Dai ko aram kun ano ika alagad rumayo ka! Habo ming magkaigwa nin problema.”
“Diosmi igwang dugo sa liog niya.”
“An boot sanang ipasabot kan sakuyang katood iyo an dai mi intensyon na kulgan ka.”
“Pakiulay, dai mo kami kulgan! .”

“Rumayo ka!”

“AAAHHHGHGH!”

“…. halat.”
“…..buhay pa daw kita?”
“Ano an ginigibo kaini?”
“Sa hiling ko nginingiritan kita kan manga ini.”
“Dai mayo ining nguso.”
“Ano pa daw an ginigibo kaini?”
“Sa hiling ko nagpapaaram na ini ngunyan”

“Ako….. Anong nangyari?”

=—————————————=

English Version

“What’s that sound?”

“I don’t know, sounds like crunching. Maybe a wild animal’s having lunch.”

“Let’s avoid the path where it’s coming from then. Come on we need to hurry, the rest of them are already ahead.”

“I don’t know how you talked me into going on this stupid scavenger hunt, it’s not like I even like these people.”

“Exactly, you can use that hatred to fuel our victory, now let’s go, I think the next clue is over this hill.”

“Fine, but if we win you owe me a 2 piece chicken from Jollibee.”

“OH MY GOD!”

“Ok, ok, fine, a 1 piece.”

“No! Look over here. Oh my god, oh my god!”

“What’s—– HOLY—–“

“It’s a dead body!”

“I can see that!”

“What do we do?!”

“Okay, calm down, just breathe!”

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”

“I SAID BREATHE! Count with me, one. Two. Three.”

“One. Two. Three.”

“See? We just need to stay calm and—– WHAT THE HELL”

“It’s moving! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod”

“I don’t know what you are but stay away! We don’t want any trouble.”

“Ohymygodthere’sbloodonitsneck.”

“What my friend is trying to say is we don’t mean you any harm.”

“Pleasedon’thurtus.”

“Stay back!”

“AAAHHHGHGH!”

“……wait.”

“…..are we still alive?”

“What’s it doing?”

“I think it’s laughing at us.”

“It doesn’t have a mouth.”

“Well what else do you think it’s doing?”

“I think it’s waving goodbye now.”

“I…..What just happened?”

=—————————————————=

*Central Bicol, commonly called Bicol Naga, is the most-spoken language in the Bicol Region of southern Luzon, Philippines. It is spoken in the northern and western part of Camarines Sur, second congressional district of Camarines Norte, eastern part of Albay, northeastern part of Sorsogon, San Pascual town in Masbate, and southwestern part of Catanduanes. Central Bicol speakers can be found in all provinces of Bicol and it is a majority language in Camarines Sur.

Written by Karl Gaverza
Bicol Translation by Joseph Villanueva Ciudadano
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Joseph Villanueva Ciudadano

Story inspired by Numputul entry in Myth Museum. Medina. 2015.

Numputul (Sambal) Illustration by Leandro Geniston from Aklat ng mga Anito
FB: That Guy With A Pen

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