*Note this story is in Cebuano
“Dili patas,” gaalingaw-ngaw ang mga hagulgol ni Sasha sa kalasangan. Iyang gihinuktukan ang litrato nila sa iyang hinigugma: kaniadtong hinigugma, pagbatol niya sa iyang kaugalingon. Dili niya madawat ang nahitabo, kung gi-unsa paglugtas iyang kasing-kasing ug wala na siyay gidulaw kung unsaon kini pag-ayo.
Alas tres na ang takna sa kaadlawon, kahibalo gyud siya unsa na kabalaka ang iyang pamilya para niya apan iya ra kining gibaliwala. Gilamon na ang iyang kinabuhi sa kasakit nga iyang gibati ug wala siya kahibalo unsaon kini pag-ayo. Bakak lang ba ang tanan niyang gipang-ingun? Alilang lang ba ang kadtong panahon nga sila manag-uban? Talawan lang ba gyud siya sa pagdawat sa kamatuoran nga wala lang gyud siya nahigugma kaniya?
Dili na niya kaya ug dili na pud niya gusto huna-hunaon kining tanan. Mas gusto pa niya musolod og lungag og mamatay nalang. Wala nay nahabilin para niya – niining kalibutana. Abi niya nga mas maayo para sa tanan kung iyaha nalanang tapuson kining tanan.
Wala pud nakamatikod si Sasha nga hinay-hinayng nagkabaga ang gabon sa iyang palibot. Anang panahona, lagmit nawala na puds iyang huna-huna nga naa siyas kalasangan. Nangyamog na ang gabon sa kabaga niini, dili na gani ma-ilhan kung yamog ba o luha ang nagdagayday sa iyang mga aping. Ug diha nga naningkamot siyas pagpahupays iyang gibating kasakit, hinay-hinayng mihulma ang laraw sa usa ka babaye gikan sa gabon.
“Kabalo ka, wala siyay angay sakitan.” Giyangod ni Sasha iyang ulo gikan sa pagsapu-po sa iyang mga kamots iyang nawong ug diha nakakita siyag usa ka gwapa nga babaye. Kasagarans mga tao matingala kung makasaksi og ingon-aning laraw apan, sa kapait nga gisud-ong ni Sasha, igo ra siyang miingon, “Biya-i kong mag-inusara. Wala kay gidulaw sa akong mga gipamati.”
“Kahibalo gyud kos kasakit nga imong gibati karon.” Mitunol og gamayng panapton ang babaye, “Gamita ni, pahiri imong mga luha.”
“Nganong makahibalo gud ka?” Gidawat ni Sasha ang panapton; wala siya kahibalo kung kinsa – o unsa kaha ni. Basin kalag, o di kaha panaligmata lang, apan bisag unsa pa to, bali-wala ra na ni Sasha. Bisan pa patyon siya sa babaye, dili ra siya mahadlok, malipay pa gani siguro siya. Lampingasan na kaayo si Sasha.
“Mi-agi na ko ana,” gitutukan na siya sa babaye, pero para niya, murag mulapos ang panan-aw sa babaye, murag gitan-aw niya iyang tibuok pagkatao. “Gibyaan ko sa akong minahal para sa akong igsuon.”
“Gibyaan kos akoa paras akong pinakasuod nga higala,” miingon si Sasha. Wala siya ka-ila kung kinsa tong bayhana pero nakamatikod siya nga maamumahon kini. “Magkawala ra ba ni, kining sakit?” Wala na kahibalo si Sasha kung unsa pay ipangutana, gusto lang niyang mupadayon silag tabi.
“Dili,” miingon ang babaye; murag nahugno pag-usab ang kasing-kasing ni Sasha. “Pero mupadayon lang gihapon ka,” midugang ang babaye.
“Unsaon kung sakit kaayo?” Gakupot si Sasha sa panapton nga abi niya musugod na pud siyag luha.
“Kay dili man gyud ni matapos.” Gigunitan sa babaye iyang mga kamot ug makita ni Sasha ang katim-os sa pag-atiman sa babaye kaniya dihas iyang mga mata. “Dili diri matapos tanan, naa man gyuy laing kataposan, bisag kailangan pa ikaw ang musulat niini.”
Ug diha-diha dayon, nawagtang ang babaye ug nahabilin napud nga nag-inusara si Sasha.
————————————————————————-
English Version
“It’s not fair,” Sasha’s sobs echoed through the forest. She looked straight into the picture of her and her love. Ex-love, she corrected herself. She couldn’t believe what had happened, how her hear broke into a million little shards and how she didn’t think she could put them back together again.
It was 3am, she knew that her family would be worried about her, but she didn’t care. Her pain wasthe only real thing in her life now and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Was everything he said a lie? Was all the time they spent together a fantasy? Was she just afraid to face the truth that he was never in love with her?
She couldn’t, didn’t want to think about any of this. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. There wasn’t anything left for her. Not in this world anyway. She thought it would be best for everyone if she just ended it all.
Sasha didn’t notice the fog build up next to her. She probably didn’t even realize she was in the forest anymore. The dew and the mist were changing next to her, in between her tears. The softly formed into a woman’s form, all while she was seeking comfort in the pain she held close to her.
“He isn’t worth it you know.” Sasha looked up from her hands and she saw a beautiful woman, almost formed out of the mist of the forest. Most people would marvel at this supernatural wonder, but Sasha just held a hint of bitterness in her voice as she said, “Leave me alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I know more than you know.” The apparition brought out a piece of cloth, “Here, this should dry your tears.”
“How would you know?” Sasha took the cloth anyway. She didn’t know who—or what this was. Maybe a ghost, maybe a hallucination, but she didn’t care. Even if this thing came to kill her, it would be a welcome relief from what she was feeling. She couldn’t find the will to care anymore.
“I’ve been there,” the woman was now looking at her, though it seemed to Sasha that she was looking through her. “The love of my life fell in love with my sister.”
“Mine left me for my best friend.” Sasha didn’t know who this was, but now she sensed a kindred spirit. “Does it get any easier?” She didn’t know what to ask, but she knew that she wanted to keep talking.
“No.” The spirit was firm in her voice, Sasha felt a piece of her heart break again. “But you keep going anyway.”
“How can you when it hurts so much?” Sasha gripped the cloth in her hands and felt the tears start to come again.
“Because it’s never the end.” The woman held her hands this time and Sasha could see the sincerity in her eyes. “There’s always another ending, even if you have to write it yourself.”
With that, the woman vanished and Sasha was left alone again.
————————–————————–————————–—-
*The Cebuano language, alternatively called Cebuan and also often colloquially albeit informally referred to by most of its speakers simply as Bisaya (“Visayan”, not to be confused with other Visayan languages nor Brunei Bisaya language), is an Austronesian regional language spoken in the Philippines by about 21 million people, mostly in Central Visayas, western parts of Eastern Visayas and most parts of Mindanao, most of whom belong to various Visayan ethnolingusitic groups, mainly the Cebuanos. It is the by far the most widely spoken of the Visayan languages, which are in turn part of wider the Philippine languages. The reference to the language as Bisaya is not encouraged anymore by linguists due to the many languages within the Visayan language group that may be confused with the term. The Komisyon ng Wikang Filipino, the official regulating body of Philippine languages, spells the name of the language as Sebwano.
Written by Karl Gaverza
Translation by Jake Pimintel
Copyright © Karl Gaverza
Translation Copyright © Jake Pimintel
Story inspired by ‘Mariang Binokong’ in Negros Oriental and Siquijor Island Legends, Beliefs and Folkways. Aldecoa-Rodriguez. 2000.
Illustration by Nadine Cabe
Tumblr: http://nadinecabe.tumblr.com/
Colors by Mykie Concepcion
Tumblr: http://mykieconcepcion.tumblr.com
